Last night, I found myself venturing to several internet cafes with David (my boyfriend). I had to complete a quiz, and he had something for work. Anyway, we thought “McDonalds at midnight and quizzes” would pair nicely with dollar sundaes. That easy savings sundaes could sweeten a blow of any unsuspected glitches that may detract us from quality sleep before another day of love and law.
I’ll admit I’m a little hard on everyone around me. I mean if David is going to let me use his spare computer as I have inconveniently left mine at home, a side effect of too many pain killers, a Rocky Balboa face, and a “crowning” wisdom tooth, he should at least remember the password for me to logon. I shouldn’t have to sit there for 10 minutes rehearsing ways to insult him from forgetting that the password is … my … name which he says at least 10 times a day. Unaware this fact, I gawked when he teased, “you don’t know how to spell your own name?” My birth name was the very thing delaying me from success on my quiz. Then I thought, ‘aha! look at the Universe! David, having used my name as a password logon to his spare computer, spoke to the Universe, and the Universe created this very moment.’ Before moving on, you must understand that this trail of thoughts is a sign of anxiety and pain killers. Instead of going into one of my famous monologues, I sat there calmly with a smile while he worked to get me up and running. Anxiety was best left unsaid … in this case.
Finally logged on at 11p, I struggled to sign on to Desire 2 Learn, a site where law students can find a syllabus and task list, with no desire to learn a new way to live a stress free life. I figured that, no matter the circumstances, between the excruciating pain of my wisdom tooth and abscess, the upkeep of my personal relationship, and the further branding and growth of TFHApparel.com, I signed up for this. I signed up to have it all, to excel at all things I’ve set out to do, no matter how difficult it may become, no matter how many dollar sundaes I may devour at 11p, no matter how long it takes for me to log on to my next task meanwhile mentally check out of love and into law. I feel like the things I love are perhaps worth suffering for … The freedom to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
I find it interesting that the Declaration of Independence discusses the aforementioned right to “life, liberty, and happiness” in the same breadth (yes breadth not breath) it discusses the freedom to abolish any government that causes unnecessary suffering. Then I thought: Now what does this mean to me and my life? What must I abolish to live a life of liberty and happiness? Are my governing thoughts to succeed causing suffering? And why am I inclined to suffer to succeed? Am I the only one asking myself these questions? With much insight, 39 men agreed to include “Mankind is disposed to suffering” when they wrote their grievances against King George III. Not only that, but they were willing to fight for their freedoms using the poorest quality of guns as we know it today–muskets. That’s some determination! Bows and arrows are more effective than that. Anyway, the thought of loading a musket with gun powder, in times of war, would’ve had me lay down my gun and surrender on the battlefield. I cannot imagine what kind of patience and focus it must take for me to overcome suffering with such a lowly gun. Is this the kind of attitude that can lead to success in love and law? As it seems, it will require that I use the knowledge and skills that I now possess to succeed, no matter how poor the quality. Some are better than others. Some I hope will overrule others … insults versus effective communication with insults being the plaintiff.
“… and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.” (source)
Could love and law be necessary evils worth suffering for?